Two Poems from Kendall A. Bell
When you walk into the kitchen that isn't yours,
you find her wearing your shirt and nothing else
holding a large mug of coffee,
which she hands to you as she leans in
and kisses you hard.
The mug is hot, so you rest it
on the cold granite counter
where it makes a clunking noise.
Your hands slip around her waist.
So few mornings have started this way
in so many years that you've nearly forgotten
the taste of lust at sunrise.
The feel of her pale leg moving against yours
makes you forget about the years spent
trying to make a passionless marriage work.
There is now: you and her draped on each other
her long, brown hair enveloping your pale shoulder.
You don't know that I save
your pictures on little jump drives
in a plastic container
so I can pull them out and plug you
into my eyes whenever I need a reason
to put down the knife or the rope
that will end all of this needless
desire for something I know I can't
have but want so badly
and that day when your phone rang
and went to voicemail and no one left a message -
that was me - I just needed to
hear the sound of your voice just once
to know what my longing sounds like -
it sounds like you - it sounds like
a million perfect notes that repeat
your name and break me down over and
again - when I read your blog
just once I want it to be about me -
but I know it will never be and I
won't ever tell you - it's not like
a man to admit when he's in love
but you're the idea in my head the
perfect girl that exists but doesn't
- you're not here.
Kendall A. Bell is a native of Bergen County, NJ who transplanted to Burlington County in early 2001. His poetry deals with the frustration of everyday life, teetering dangerously on sanity's edge and the hope of better days. His work has appeared in numerous print and online journals, most recently Gold Wake Press and Zygote In My Coffee. He was nominated for Sundress Publications' 2007 Best of the Net collection. His current chapbook, his eleventh, is called The Forgotten. He is a co-founding member of the Quick And Dirty Poets, Co-editor of the online journal Chantarelle's Notebook and the publisher/editor of Maverick Duck Press. He is a football and music fanatic and a self proclaimed curmudgeon. His website is www.kendallabell.com